When Grant first proposed, Kat was sweaty, her dark hair disheveled in ringlets around her shoulders after dancing to salsas and bent back tangos. Laughing, they stumbled to her place. She fetched sparkling water. He pulled out the velvet ring box from his pocket and set it in the middle of Kat’s bamboo coffee table.
She placed glasses on either side of the box as if it weren’t there. As if it had always been there. She stroked his broad shoulders and said, “You don’t know me well enough.” He said, “That’s my problem to solve. And what better way.”
“Bright and breezy, ham and cheesy,”1 I says to him. Big fellow he were. Blimey! He were a bit Mum and Dad2. So I steps away. He’s talking with a Gooseberry Puddin’3, a right attractive bird. She’s Toby Tugging4 a suitcase and he’s going all Wayne Rooney5 on her. He says, “Come back and Jabberwok6.” If only he’d see how it looks. Needs a ‘Enry7. A big, fat doobie. Might calm him some. Lor’ luv a duck. Kept i’ ter meself. Bear’s Paw8 ‘e were a cop. Nuff said.
At night I reach for you, but you're not there. I wait, hear heels that tap across the floor. It must, most certain be a trap, a snare, Cruel trick, the phantom step beyond the door. In breathless trepidation do I wait For you, just you, no'ne else but you will do. “I do,” the words I've spoken much too late To bind our troth and make our life anew. Dear Kate, I beg, please come to me again. With heaving bosom, dance with me a turn. Such perfect grace together we attain That even Rose, her favor we might earn. Alas, I wish that this were but a dream, In fact, I fear it's all that it doth seem.
Shrew: An omelet, A suitcase, A change of clothes and then a meal. Maybe. A sonnet, An altercation, with the consequence that she leaves. Again. … Cool chick changes, reverts to wasp “An omelet, bonny Kate? And sit.” “On a moveable? It will not bear me.” “I mean to bear thee.” “Don’t go all Shakespeare on me, I gotta go.” … But then she said She would not come Into my bed. I said, “Your mum, I wish her dead.” She whacked my bum I grasped her head She said, “You dumb Ass, don’t you tread On me.”