His Excellency, Herman Jay Rabbit, leaned against a case displaying all manner of timepieces, all keeping time at different speeds. Most of Wonderland had learned to live with this.
Rabbit had not. “My good sir, you have perverted time itself,” he said when the shopkeeper arrived from behind a brown curtain.
Fingering a loupe, he said, “I don’t know what you mean, sir.”
“I always seem to be late.”
“For whom,” asked the man.
“Her Majesty.”
The man said, “There’s no watch fast enough to keep up with the Queen.”
“But I must arrive on time.”
“You’ll need a calculator.”
Monica's Monday Morning Flash 
A good morning chuckle. I particularly liked the line about time perversion…
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:-). I can understand the Rabbit character. Time is always warped for me.
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